Umbralleus Longtijuvus

"...and another thing..


Space! The final frontier.. these are the voyages & encounters of trying to have some personal space to yourself.. and not getting it. Especially whenever your walking about in public places.

When it comes to this dimensional extension while you're out and about, people's spacial awareness leaves alot to be desired for. From the lovey-dovey couples to Mothers or Fathers with prams and just never looking where they are going; the broadsheed newspaper reader who is yet to master the art of folding. Let's not forget the tourist who never seem to know when to make up their mind. Oh, I'm sure there is a long list of culprits, but lets examine one dangering species:


Umbralleus longtijuvus. Or, in layman's term, Men with long umbrellas. You would have thought that men would take their cue from women who have the rather petite shaped brollies, but still effectively keeps out the rain when its opened. Notice the way how men hold their umbrellas while its closed. With each stride comes a swing which signifies a territorial marking with the umbrella, and you best not be within the radius of touch. Woe betide you if you do, because the next thing you will feel is the long and pointed end of the umbrella.

Such offenders of wrongly using umbrellas (W.U.U) are easily identified and classed as:

'Regimental Sergeant Major'
'Samurai Jack' (Cartoon caricature)
'Ian Botham' (Cricket legend to the uninitiated)
'Shaka Zulu'. (Shame on you if you have no idea who this man was!)


Here are a couple of tips in how to avoid being clobbered or stabbed by the above suspects:

Walk at a minimal pace (safe) distance: Stating the obvious it would seem, but many a people still fall victim just by not watching their step.

Don't stay in a country where it rains or the sun shines all the time. (Self explanatory)

Destroy all long umbrellas you find and get smaller ones for any male friends you have.


With these simple rules, you just might be able to avoid being lampooned out there.


If you have a moment, drop by to one of my favourite sites for a daily reading:

http://www.rbc.org/odb/odb.shtml


Genuine concern for others is the mark of a great spiritual coach.