Mad Roamers and Crazy Drivers!

Picture the scene, if you will:

You just so happen to witness a strange image forming before your very eyes. The sight begins to take shape into somewhat macarbe apparation; a view that could literally leave you speechless. An adult male, (or female) is coming towards at full speed, butt-naked, screaming like a banshee, has a blunt machete in his hand and is about to strike a blow right towards your neck. Like any sane individual, you take cover. You don’t want a blade making it’s way to your neck, or any part of your anatomy for that matter.

Seems implausible? Ok, let’s change the tempo: a bull has just been castrated, has snapped free from its harness, and it wants revenge. He zeros in on you, and stampedes right for you. Once again, you don’t or try not to reason with said animal. You do the next best thing: Run!


I’ve cited to two extreme examples of instances that could happen. Which begs the question as to why people in this country, especially in London, take their time while crossing a busy road, when they have no right of way? I’ve witnessed on so many occasions people playing chicken with cars of all sizes. It’s like pedestrians are double-daring the drivers to knock them over. I mean, how dumb can you be? For all you know, the driver in question could be under the influence, or committed a crime and getting the hell out, or is maybe just in a hurry to get to the bog before it all goes pear shaped.

I then realise that people take liberties in this country. The general rule, I reckon, is that said pedestrians feel that the driver’s insurance would cover any medical bills and payout. Not bad for a few broken bones.

Now, I’ve travelled to certain parts of the world, and there are three countries that come to mind that you don’t want to dare drivers or pull off any dumb stunts of jaywalking on the main road: Namely Italy, India and Nigeria. Italy has somewhat a sense of normality, but pull any stunts in India or in particular, then you only have yourself to blame. Can you imagine? You see a car hurtling towards you, and you’re strolling across the road at your own leisure. You best believe that a collision is inevitable. And the pain doesn’t stop there. Oh, no! You’d be then asked (if your either conscience or can at least talk!) to explain your foolish actions. It’ll then be you, the ‘victim’, who would have to fork out for the damage to the vehicle.

So, if none of you guys can remember the Green Cross Code when you take that stroll across a busy intersection or road, just visualise a naked man with a machete dashing for you.

Obeying the wind and other hair raising moments…

It’s been kind of windy these past couple of days, and with the wind comes all kinds of mishaps. I’ve witnessed the usual wind scenarios: an umbrella being blown away; rubbish bags dragged. Heck, I’ve even witnessed Marilyn Monroe moments.



So how do you prepare for that windy moment when your toupee comes flying off your head? That’s a scene I saw a couple of days ago, and of course, I didn’t have my camera with me to record such a priceless moment. The poor dude was dressed to the nines, all dapper and such. He even had a beautiful woman by his side. They were just about to make their way into a parked Mercedes Benz when the faux pas happened. I don’t know why the dude never secured that toupee down properly, but I reckon he ought to shave or invest in something stronger. Like the brand Donald Trump uses. (Come on, people!! We're all thinking it: it has to be a toupee!!)


There’s another guy I used to see a lot who I believe must be in hair denial. The man must be in 50s, and has 3 or 4 strands of hair that I’m sure he combs over his obvious bald patch. This dude looks like another version of Homer Simpson, but only paler and thinner. Whenever the wind blows, the strands stand to attention to be counted, which you can literally do. And I’m asking myself: “Doesn’t this guy have someone telling him that he might actually look better with no hair at all?” I guess he’s holding on to the final remnants of what could have probably been long lush, flowing hair. Oh, how he longs for the wonder years…



Why Am I picking on the bald guys? No apparent reason. I’m as bald as a vulture’s head, and I’ll be damned if I wear a toupee or such. (Unless a miracle drug is produced to create hair with no side effects!) If anything, I strongly believe that the almighty created baldness as a true sign of showing off the perfect head. ☺