Office Culture Part Uno: Office Spam Mail...

Can anyone PLEASE explain to me the logic of work colleagues sending out global on-site emails to everyone announcing, that after X, Y & Z number of years with the company, they are now moving on? What's up with that? At least once every week this kind of email finds its way into my inbox. It's as bad as spam mail. Come to think of it, it is spam mail. First off, I have no idea who you are, and why you would be informing me that you're leaving the company is beyond me. If I knew who you are, and I either had a healthy working relationship with you, or were good friends, then I'm sure you'd give me the heads up. Or maybe the sinister reasoning for sending out global mails is that more people that know of your impending departure, the more contributions would go into your Leaving Present fund. I have news for you: If I don't know you, I'm not contributing! Oh! You think I'm stingy? I've know many people throughout my working career that they make Ebenezer Scrooge seem like Mother Theresa.
Other recipients of said mail would have nothing but disdain and thoughts of "I bet that smarty pants is off to a better job with better pay, while I'm stuck in this Gulag. "Arbeit macht frei" indeed! " Point to note, though: Not everything is as rosy as it seems in life. Then again, it just might be rosier..

Another gripe I have with mass mails at work are the "It's my birthday, come and partake of the goodness of cakes I've bought" mailouts. Hey, if you want to share the wealth, go for it. But if you're trying to score brownie points with me, that's not going to happen, especially if I know that you're the same person continually going out off your way to undermine my job by not complying with certain technicalities of the job. (And you definately know WHO YOU ARE!)

Here's one that really cracks me up. Picture the scene, if you will: A colleague on maternity leave, delivers a healthy child (all together now: "ahhhhhh!"), and after a couple of months recuperation, sends a global email to everyone at work to announce that she is coming in with the child for everyone to 'goo-goo, gaa-gaa!' over. Personally, I don't see any reason why you'd want to bring the child into an office environment at that age. He or she will eventually get to know the four corners of a cubicle and office beauracracy, so why traumatise the child now? The worst thing is that those who come over to congratulate you in the office with your new child, are the ones who, with Machiavellian tendencies, have been plotting ways of ousting you since you sent that global email.

So, if you are a continual offender of sending out global emails, (which are all not bad, truth be told. Some are informative and enlightning. Hah!!) just say no!