The Rail services: More Palaver & Wahala for your money's worth!

"And thats another thing...!

If you're a resident of London, and you have a membership to a gym, or lack certain social skills that need improving, but can't afford Life or motivational coaches, then I have a proposal that would not only save you money, but will also give you a good work out not just in the physical sense, but also for your emotional status. I present to you: 'The National Rail Workout'-Recommended by Daily users (Limited Edition).

Preparing for a school reunion after 10 years, and you want to regain that lost figure with a quick work out? (Come on, you know who you are..) Then The Sprint for the 7.25 Service to London Bridge (Or any other destination of your choice!) with only a few minutes to spare, comes highly recommended. (Only to realise that there has been a platform alteration, and you now have to sprint back to the platform you just ran past.)

Feel that you need to lose weight but can't afford a massage? Welllll! Help is at hand: The 'Squeeze intothecarriage 2000', could just help you shed some pounds off. As a matter of fact, this deal is a' 2-for-1' bargain. That's right, folks. Not only do you get a massage, you also test run your eloquence skills of "Move down the carriage, please!" It comes free with scents and smell tasters, depending on the season.

Thinking of testing your blood pressure? Say no more. With train delays & cancellations a plenty, with the continually hike to fares, you'll notice your cardio workout begins with swear words muttered under your breath, and that vein on your forehead throbbing more than usual. (please make sure that you have a 'gym' partner with you who is skilled in the art of CPR.)

My personal favourite is 'How to improve your stereotype'. See anyone who is of Arabic, Asian or African origin with a big bag? Then its high time to move away from said characters, pronto. And if you happen to be of said origin, then you'll get to meet British 'Bobby' (police), who will regal you with quotes from The Terrorism Act of 2000: Section 14, which states that the police can stop you at random and check your belongings. (It's happened to me twice, so I should know!) Please do not try running on a platform if you're carrying a big bag. If they order you stop, please, for the love of God: STOP!!

Don't delay, Join up now!

***DISCLAIMER***

***Subscription is open to those who have to make their way to work on a daily basis. Membership comes with a no money back guarantee. If you are not satisfied, and are still persistant for a refund, then you might be lucky in contacting customer liason office of the services providers, who will provide forms that just don't seem the hassle to fill. If you feel that the above quote seems too much aggro than its worth, then you can either invest in a car which will definately bring more problems than its worth. Besides, You'd be better off walking. At least the environement would appreciate it***



Have a blessed Day.

A small light can dispel great darkness.